And yes, it is happiness! For most parents. Not for everyone, though. I will talk specifically about divorced fathers who have the hardest time and who don't ask for much.
Because no matter how much progress society has made, a father who demands time with his child - and especially quality time, like in the summer - often finds himself facing walls.
Summer is a time for vacation, relaxation, and reconnection. Summer, they say, is a time for carefree living. But for a divorced father, it can be a time of stress and inner struggle. Will he be given enough time with his child? Will he be able to take time off from work on the same days? Will he be able to pay for vacations, tutoring, or tickets? Will he be able to give them a breakfast that doesn't have to end quickly? A lunch that isn't borrowedAn evening hug without the clock turning off the light?
Many people don't ask for much. A weekend. An afternoon for ice cream. An evening to watch a movie together on the balcony.
And yet, even these require negotiation. Often, understanding that doesn't come. Or a permission which makes them feel like guests in their child's life.
And in all of this, there are those who try, with suggestions, with alternatives, with kindness, and many times, with a wounded heart not because they broke up, but because they miss their son, their daughter, the moments they didn't live. Who try to create memories in whatever small and borrowed time they are given. For the father who is waiting for a phone call. For the father who is packing a suitcase with two changes of clothes and a big heart. For the father who is learning to live with less... and love more.
Don't feel sorry for them. They don't want it. They want you to see them. To acknowledge them. Not to have to prove that they love. Not to ask for permission no one to stand by their child.
Because paternity is not cut in two. It is not shared by court decisions. And it certainly does not fit into visitation schedules.
This summer, let's make some space for them too. Maybe we need to look more humanely at those fathers who don't take vacations like the others.
A child's voice calling "daddy" in the sea may be the biggest wave he has ever known.
Because ultimately, a summer with your child is not a right. It's a gift of life, and every father who fights for it deserves to be heard.
Photo The Yuri Arcurs Collection, Image license by freepik.com
