There are parents who don't raise children; they raise mirrors.
They want to see only their own reflection, to let others breathe at their own pace, to laugh only if they approve, to hurt only if they allow them to.
These are the narcissistic parents.
Those who, instead of nourishing souls, construct theatrical performances with themselves as the sole protagonist.
You grow up next to them and you understand that your joy does not belong to you.
If you laugh, something will happen to cut you.
If you show enthusiasm, they will find a reason to take you back.
Because in their logic, your brilliance is a threat: it shows that there can be a center other than them.
They don't want you to have light; they want you to illuminate them.
And then comes the poison of lies. Toxic parents build a web of malice, fabricating stories, gossip, slander about the people they themselves approach. They think that no one will ever meet, that contradictions will not be revealed, that the truth will remain forever buried.
But when everything comes to light, when people come together and reveal, then the narcissistic parent looks for solutions. He realizes that he no longer has any options to continue the same game; and that's where phase number two begins.
He approaches people – who under normal circumstances he would never approach – with the aim of demonizing everyone he now knows. A new cycle of lies and venom is set up, to save his image at all costs.
The psychology of the narcissistic parent does not know the concept of responsibility.
In his own inner world, he is never wrong.
He cannot see the child as an independent person; he sees it as an extension of himself.
Instead of hugging, there is competition.
Instead of companionship, there is prison.
And so, the child learns to be silent.
He learns to smile less, so as not to provoke.
He learns to make his dreams smaller so as not to anger his parent.
He learns to stifle his hope, so that it is not canceled.
And the hardest thing: he learns to never expect an apology.
Because in their language, forgiveness is weakness – and they will never appear "weak."
Society often sees them differently. "But he seems so friendly, so sociable," outsiders say.
They don't see the background: the malice, the fictions, the manipulation.
They don't see the children who fade away silently, deprived of the self-evident right to joy.
The truth, however, is relentless: a toxic parent means a wounded child.
And as the silence continues, the wound deepens. Because silence does not protect the child; it protects the narcissist.
And yet, there is a way out. The wounded child can become an adult who breaks the cycle. Who recognizes the abuse, sets boundaries, and finds his voice and laughter again.
Who understands that it's not his fault for the shadows they cast upon him.
The narcissistic parent may never apologize.
But the child can learn not to need it anymore.
Because the greatest act of freedom is to take back your smile – even if it was taken away by those who were supposed to protect it.
photo by CDD20, https://pixabay.com
